i make microsoft paint drawings. this is my blog. send love/hate/indifference notes to: mspdrawrings@gmail.com
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want to buy a print? you can! just go to: www.etsy.com/shop/mspdrawrings
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.
What’s that? Two drawing posts in one day?? Yes, Christmas did come early.
This is a family portrait I drew for charity, as in my MSP skillz were auctioned off to help fund an alternative high school for at-risk youth. So, Microsoft Paint is my Medium actually does good things sometimes! (Other than drawing animals getting wasted in bars, of course. Because we all know that’s damn good).
Today, my friends Erin and James are headed to Panama for their very exciting surfing honeymoon! I drew this picture for them, and was told it will become the beer label to one of their homebrews. Yeeeee haw, love!
It’s been awhile, huh? Like, four months?!? W.T.F.
But seriously, I have a series of really good excuses. In those months, the following things happened: I started working full time for myself, went on a last minute apartment hunting spree, moved apartments and got engaged. So, between the packing and the wrestling with quarterly income tax estimates and the new deadlines and the culture shock of moving from Greenpoint to Park Slope and the engaging, I didn’t have time to draw. But never fear! I couldn’t stay away forever.
To ease back into things, I went with the ol’ go-to: Animals Drinking in Bars. This time, it’s orangutans. What do you think they are saying to each other? I’m not sure, but it looks like it was pretty freaking hilarious.
Fuck yeah, animals in bars!
I’m taking a brief break from the current subway series to present a twist on Animals in Bars. Today is my mom’s birthday. Friday is my dad’s birthday. They are both Corgi-obsessed (what’s a Corgi? watch this bizarre informative video that I just found on youtube 7 minutes ago). I thought Corgis in a bar would make for a good drawing, but my parents don’t frequent bars. They do, however, love a good margarita on the beach. They’ve also started reading my blog (which makes me embarrassed because of all the swears but whatever). So I present to you: Three Corgis Drinking Margaritas on a Beach.
Happy birthday week, Mom & Dad!
Day Three of the current Subway Series: The Stair Cell Convo Asshole.
Now, I realize this asshole doesn’t technically dwell in the subway (god forbid the SCCA actually go down the stairs into the goddamn station). I still think she qualifies for the series. She’s that annoying.
This is the person who walks down the steps to the subway mid-phone-conversation, then realizes she’ll lose cell service and stops to finish. This creates an obstacle for both directions of stair traffic, and thus makes the perfect start/end to a commute that is populated by the numerous other subway assholes who have starred in the series.
File under: Are you serious?
Day Two of Subway Series Two: The Subway Eater. Now, I realize that not everyone is going to agree with me on this one, because I’ve gotten in arguments with friends over it before. But, I think it is totally gross to eat on the subway. What, you couldn’t wait an extra five minutes aboveground to eat that pizza/McDonald’s burger/whole chicken/jelly donut/whatever? You don’t like eating food in, oh… a clean and… less-public venue? I realize everyone’s really busy, hardly time to eat, blah blah blah, rush rush rush, but come on. You are nasty.
File under: The subway doesn’t have a dining car for a reason.
So, it’s time for another Subway Series. Welcome to Part Deux!
Today’s pet peeve: The Getting On! Asshole. This is the subway rider who sneaks around those of us who are waiting politely for people to exit, then pushes onto the train before it has emptied out (actually, before the people who are trying to get off have even gotten a foot through the door). I don’t know if the GO!A is afraid the door will shut on her, or really wants to stake out a seat or what. But, she misses a key point that is applicable to situations that extend far beyond the subway car: You have to take items out of a stuffed container before you can put more in.
File under: Take a deep breath and let the nice people off the fucking train.
So… Happy New Year! A little late, I know. I had a special new-year-themed idea saved up for you, but then time went by and things got busy and I never made it. So, I’ll save it for another holiday. In its place, I’m bringing you back to the YMCA pool with another “WTF is the lifeguard doing?” moment. This morning, at around 7:45am, the lifeguard pulled out a tiny electric guitar, plugged his headphones into it, and then closed his eyes as he played what I can only assume were the sweetest jams ever. I mean, what else could possibly be so important as to, you know, take precedence over watching/listening for drowning swimmers? He practiced said jams for approximately 45 minutes. And yes, it’s the same lifeguard that clips his toenails in public.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
The City gave to me
Twelve bums a bumming
Eleven people griping
Ten liquids leaking
Nine rats romancing
Eight tourists gawking
Seven trash cans brimming
Six drunks a swaying
Five chicken wiiiiiiings
Four doggie turds
Three mad men
Two elbow shoves
And a dead pigeon stuck in a tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas
The City gave to me
Eleven people griping
Ten liquids leaking
Nine rats romancing
Eight tourists gawking
Seven trash cans brimming
Six drunks a swaying
Five chicken wiiiiiiings
Four doggie turds
Three mad men
Two elbow shoves
And a dead pigeon stuck in a tree
